I love my digital camera, but I'm beginning to think it may not be a good thing for me. I love this picture I took coming home from work yesterday. I shouldn't mention that I took it through the passenger window of my car (you can see how dirty the window is) while driving down the highway at 55 mph.
What can I say; is there a more beautiful scene then a Colorado sunset?
I feel I've been a bit remiss in updating my blog lately. I find myself being that person who checks everybody else's blog in hopes that I will have some fun new photos to see, or some interesting news to read about, but I haven’t had any great epiphanies to blog about recently.
I feel a little weird lately. I feel like I always am on the go with something to do, but when I look back at what I've accomplished, I feel like I haven't done anything lately. I have a lot I want to do right now, but results come slowly. I'm not feeling guilty about my work situation anymore. I went into work today and found out that the lady that was pretty much responsible for hiring me was laid off today. She is the second manager who has been laid off due to restructuring since I arrived at the job. I did find it interesting that the company waited until she participated in securing our biggest advertiser for the year before they pulled the plug though. I recognize that layoffs are sometimes part of business, but I hate when companies do it in the manner they have been done in this case. One day your there, and then next your office is locked, and you have a meeting to let everybody know your gone. No chance to say goodbye. Maybe it's just me, but it's not what I think of as being humane.
We had a singles meeting at my house tonight, and I did something I have never done. I learned how to use my crock-pot. I made chili tonight, and it really turned out pretty good. We only had a few people again, but I've really enjoyed our meetings, and I think the others have as well.
This Sunday could be interesting for me. Our True Love Waits youth program ended a few weeks ago, but we have a "Ring Ceremony" for the youth this week. It's basically a chance for the youth to make a public statement in front of people they love and trust to remain sexually pure. At the end of the program their parents, or an adult sponsor, will present the youth with a ring saying true love waits they can wear to remind them of this pledge. I found out yesterday that our youth director will not be able to be at the program because of a sudden death in the family. I volunteered to take over and now I get to write a 10 minute message for the program. I wonder when the last time these parents listened to a message regarding sex at church with their kids. It could be fun.
I'm still going back and forth between which school I want to attend. Sometimes I wish a voice would just emerge from the clouds (imagine it in the pic above) and just tell me what to do. Why is discerning God's will sooo difficult sometimes?
Sunday should be fun. I'm going to play laser tag with some friends up in Denver. One of my friends is going to bring a friend of hers she thinks I would get along famously with. Being set up is fun sometimes if there are absolutely no expectations. I'm actually looking forward to the night.
Well that is pretty much life in my little corner of the world right now. Be safe and I'll chat with you all later.
I was first exposed to Set Free Church when I moved back to Colorado after spending two years in Indiana. I was driving down one of the main streets in Loveland and noticed a big white trailer sitting by the side of the road next to what used to be the bingo hall in town. On the side of the trailer in big black letters were the words SATAN SUCKS!
"The Biker Church" as it's known around here is in your face, and hardcore. The music is hard and loud, and the members are people who you wouldn't expect to see in church. The church targets people who have been burned by organized religion before. They reach out to people who are fighting addictions, and problems with life. The youth pastor at Set Free has a powerful testimony, telling how he first met God in prison. We invited him to speak to both our middle school and senior high youth groups tonight. He came, and brought his hard rock praise band and whole youth group with him. It's amazing sometimes to see the Holy Spirit move. On one side of the fellowship hall was the youth of Mountain View. This may be somewhat stereotypical but, most of our kids come from upper middle class homes. Many participate in athletics, or student counsel at school. Most have never needed for anything in their lives. On the other side of the room were the youth from Set Free. Most were wearing some form of black clothing, much of it with the set free logo. They had multiple piercings, and looked very out of place in a suburban upper middle class church. You could tell how uncomfortable our kids were with our visitors in the building. They pretty much hung around with each other, and let the other group hang out on the other side of the room. When the praise band started, the Set Free youth were front and center on their feet, while most of our youth were in the back row in their seats. Over time a few braver souls came forward and felt freer to participate. Brian, their youth pastor, then gave his moving testimony. At the end he invited kids who felt they needed prayer to come forward, not something done normally in our very intellectual Presbyterian Church. Many of their kids came forward, but then ours did too. It was amazing to see the youth of both churches praying over each other, and bridging the gap between two very different churches. It was so good to see that they realized that thought we have many differences; we are all part of the universal church, the body of Christ. Two groups of youth were willing to leave their comfort zone tonight, and experience growth in Christ. I love that there can be diversity in the Church. Most of the members at Set Free will never feel comfortable walking into a service at Mountain View. I will probably never choose to worship in a place like Set Free, not because it's bad, but because it's not me. It's important for people to find a place where they can feel free to worship in a style, and with people who can help them connect to God in a deeper way. Everybody is different; therefore the churches that we choose to attend are going to be different. We are all connected though by the bond Christ gave us in his death and resurrection. Tonight was a great lesson in don’t judge a book by its cover, Christ never did. Well, it's now decision time. I got two phone calls this week telling me I've accepted into both the University of Dubuque Theological Seminary, and Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. Basically I've been accepted into all three schools I've applied to. I won't be able to visit all three campuses because of vacation time, and money restraints, so I'm planning on picking a school, and then just visiting that campus. If I hate it, I can then do choice two, but I can't imagine disliking any of the schools.
I have a pretty random stream of thoughts tonight, but I'm hoping that I may be able to piece them all together in some coherent fashion as I write. I have found that sometimes just writing everything down brings some order and peace to the thoughts moving in my head.
I was inspired to watch one of my favorite movies tonight, Dead Poets Society. The message of "Carpe Diem, Seize the Day" still resonating in my head, I decided to check my e-mail. The slightly cryptic message residing in my inbox leads me to believe that two of my best friends in the world have finally become new parents for the first time.
It's funny how life can change in the blink of an eye. Just that quickly, everything is different then it was before, and life will never be the same. I look back at my life, and even though I would like to think that I'm the same person I have always been, how can I with all the change I have seen. Change is a scary word to many people, and it can be one of the most beautiful things, or it can be one of the most terrible and traumatic. Over the last few years I have seen both. I have seen friends fall in love, marry and have children. It's surreal to realize that I'm now probably in the minority of my friends as many now have families that include kids. I love to see the happiness in the lives of these people who mean so much to me, but at the same time I miss what once was. Change happens! Change can also be terrible. My life has seen a lot of this change. I have been told of lifelong disease with diabetes. I have seen love turn to angst. I have seen death come to people I have cared about at very young ages. Birth and death.....Change!
Some changes you can't control, but others you can. To quote from Dead Poets Society....
"But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be? "
I have stated before that I feel my life is at a crossroads. I have decided which road I'm going to take, and that will change the course I originally plotted for my life. I’m sometimes afraid of the change, but I know I’m being led by the Holy Spirit. I’m being told to “Seize the Day” choose your path. I love Robert Frost’s poem.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stoodAnd looked down one as far as I couldTo where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I have chosen my path, but now I start to think back to the line, “That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?" What will my legacy be, and what are my goals for ministry? I have thought a lot about this, and I want my verse to be change. I want to see people changed in a relationship with Christ. I want to be a force for that change, and want to make a difference in people’s lives. I don’t want much; I simply want to change the world!
“Carpe Diem, Seize the Day!”
Personal growth is about leaving your comfort zone. You will never grow mentally, emotionally, or spiritually if you always follow the same routine, and don't take any risk. I remind myself of this fact often in my life. I'm going to have to keep reminding myself of this as well. I was asked today by the senior pastor of my church if I would be interested in preaching on a Sunday sometime this summer. I answered yes very quickly, as I was hoping that I would get that opportunity sometime before I left for seminary. It's not comfortable doing this, but at the same time, it's very comfortable. I have never had a fear of public speaking, and I have been in front of this church many times for different reasons. This time is different though, and this time I will be preparing a lesson for the same people who have helped bring me up in my faith. It will be a growing experience.
Church was great today as we had a concert performed by the Sterling College Choir. This choir typically comes to Mountain View every 3 years or so, and they always do an incredible job. The college is in Kansas, but is affiliated with the Presbyterian Church. The student body president of the college this year, is a member of Mountain View, and was in middle school when I helped with the program during my college days. I love the end of the concert. The choir exits from the risers they perform on, and circles the congregation while holding hands. The pastor does the benediction, and then the choir performs a final song/prayer, called Song of Simeon. The lyrics come from Luke 2:29-32.
"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."
It's a powerful experience to be a part of.
It promises to be a good week for me. I got to see an incredible performance by the concert choir today, I have tickets to see the Nuggets play the Spurs on Wednesday night, and I have tickets to see Momma Mia Friday. I also had a great time yesterday. I spend the morning in Estes Park, taking some photos for a class I'm sort of taking, but not really. That on the other hand is a long story.
I need a vacation!!!
Ok, so this may seem a pretty trite statement considering I spent most of the last three months sleeping in till about noon, but it's true. I have always loved to travel, but I almost never travel just for the sake of being able to travel. I travel to see relatives. I travel for business. I'm going to soon be traveling for school. I've traveled as I have moved across the country. I have so many friends who have been to foreign countries, not for some particular reason, but because they wanted to go have fun. I have friends who have traveled the country just to get away from their home for a week or so. The last few weeks I have just had this lingering desire to get away for a while and do something crazy. I want to just get in my car and drive somewhere, anywhere, but then responsibility kicks in and bites me in the ass. I think I'm still feeling some bitterness regarding my Las Vegas vacation for my 30th birthday. It was going to be my first REAL vacation since graduating from college. I was not traveling to see anybody or do anything important. I was traveling to drink a little, gamble some, and hang out with friends. It was two days before I left that I was told I may be losing my job. I pretty much spent the whole vacation feeling sick to my stomach and miserable. Things worked out for the best in the end, but darn it, I want my vacation back!Other then that everything is going pretty good, but boring. I like my new job, but I'm ready to be done with training. I'm starting to get bored on a daily basis already. The singles ministry is meeting tomorrow and I'm not quite sure how many will show, but that should be pretty fun too. Other then that, not too much to report.
It has been a pretty blah day today. The snow from the other day has for the most part melted, but the sky has been very overcast and the sun has just been a haze. I have not been able to get a hold of any friends this afternoon, so I've pretty much spent most of the day watching movies, reading, and doing some studying for a class I'm taking.
I did sneak out for a while this afternoon and was reminded of the joy Christ can bring you on even the grayest of days. The first photo I took from my back yard while letting my dog out at about 3:30 this afternoon. You can see how dark and gray it is, yet the beauty of his creation is evident even in my backyard. It's easy to get busy and preoccupied to the point that you forget to pay attention to the beauty of life that is all around us. I know that I am guilty of this quite often, as I rush from appointment to meeting to gathering, often feeling even more rushed by the fact that as usual I'm running late.
The second photo here is what caught my attention in the first place. I was bored and grumpy that I was stuck indoors but the first sight I saw as I stepped out my front door this afternoon was the flock of pink flamingos that sprang up overnight on my neighbor’s yard. I'm sure this was done as a b-day prank or something of that sort for the teenage girl that lives in the house, but just stuck me as something fun and refreshing. It got me to start looking at the day from a new perspective.
"This is not a black and white world. To be alive I say that the colors must swirl. And I believe that maybe today we will all get to appreciate the Beauty of Grey"
Ok, so I'm back to song lyrics to make a point, but I do believe that songwriters are the true poets of my generation. This particular song by Live is definitely an old favorite of mine. I mentioned earlier that I'm taking a class. This is a School of Christian Living class being offered at my church regarding a recent report focused on the "Peace, Unity and Purity" of the Presbyterian Church. There have been many battles in the church lately regarding among other things authority of scripture, and requirements of ordination in the church. As the report states, both sides have arguments very grounded in scripture as to what their sides believe. As much as people on each side want to attack the other side, it's irresponsible because the other side is striving to serve the Lord as much as anyone else. What I have read of the report so far seems to strike a balance between both sides of each issue, and seems to attempt to strike a conciliatory tone, which is important. I don't think the world operates in a black and white manner, and most of the time you can't set hard and fast rules on complicated issues. It's a grey world, and communication with respect is important while dealing with these complex issues. The questions I have been mulling over in my mind the last few days though regard the fact that eventually decisions do have to be made regarding what the church believes. Eventually some people are not going to like what is decided. It's important to recognize the gray in between the issues, and hopefully any agreement will be somewhere in the middle, but if the church can't and won't make these decisions, it will be the church as a whole to suffer in the end. Four more weeks of this class to go and I think it will be a fun and educational lesson.
I have ABBA on the brain right now. I just purchased two tickets to Momma Mia at the Buell Theater in Denver for March 24th. If you haven't heard of this smash hit, their website proclaims "With more productions playing internationally than any other musical, MAMMA MIA! is the World’s No.1 Show!" The beauty of the show is that the musical numbers are all songs made famous by the Swedish band ABBA. I love their music; it’s fun, energetic and just puts a smile on my face. Now I just need to find a date for that Friday night. Hmmmmm.....
I also got some good news yesterday. I have been accepted into my first seminary program. It's Regent College in Vancouver, British Columbia and it's pretty much been on top of my list. I received terrible grades during my undergrad studies though, so the acceptance is a probationary one. I'm not sure of what ramifications this will have on things such as financial aid, so I still need to wait for the official letter to arrive, but it's a step forward and it feels good to know that at least one school thinks I have what it takes. Now I just need similar news regarding two more institutions.
I did have my phone interview with the University of Dubuque Seminary program Wednesday morning, and I think I did well there as well, but it was interesting to say the least. I scheduled the interview on the same morning I started my new job, and my plan was to go find a coffee shop near work where I could take the phone call at 7:15. Not having worked for so long, I wasn't used to getting up early though, and I accidentally set my alarm on music instead of buzzer. I woke up about 40 minutes late and was forced to do the interview in my car as I was driving to my new job. Oops.
I am enjoying working at the newspaper, but I must admit I'm feeling a little guilty about it. I don't feel that I have been as forthright with the company as I wish I could be. I'm sure that they would not have been as enthusiastic about hiring me if they knew I was planning on quitting and moving out of state in about 5 months. I don't know if there was a right thing to do in this case, and I did what I felt was best, but I still feel bad.
"There's only us, there's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way. No day but today! "
I first saw Rent in Jan of 1999 on stage in Denver. It was the first Broadway style production I had ever seen, and I was pretty much hooked from then on. I love the music from the production very much, but I like many of its messages even more. One of my favorite themes from Rent is living each day to the fullest. Don't regret what you have done in the past, and don't spend all your time planning for the future. Live in the present and enjoy your life. I try to live my life in this manner, and am pretty good at it. Sometimes this is to my benefit, and sometimes not, but for the most part it's how I choose to live my life. I have taken a few online surveys lately to help me determine what spiritual gifts God has given to me in my life. In my seminary applications I said I thought that my biggest gifts were for teaching and encouraging others, and according to the spiritual gift inventories I took, I was right for the most part. There was a gift that was listed number 1 in almost every test that I missed though; the gift of faith. I think it's my faith that has allowed me to live in the present. I know for a fact my faith has allowed me to forgive myself for all that I have done earlier in my life. God forgave me right away, but it took a long time for me to realize this and forgive myself. I now know that I am able to "forget regret". My faith also allows me to not worry so much for the future. I know that God will find a way to make his will happen for me in my life. It seems like no matter what I have done in the past, he has always found a way to put me where he would have me. I think that sometimes I'm accused of not thinking my decisions through, and I know that some people have questioned my recent decisions to go back to school. My struggle today has been where I draw the line between having faith that Christ will make things work for me in life, and making responsible decisions that may not be directly leading me down the path I feel called to. One of my seminaries called me today, and indicated that I may not be able to be accepted with out a campus visit. I was planning on visiting a campus before I enrolled in a program, but with me starting a new job vacation time is scarce. I already will be taking 10 days off in July to travel on a mission trip with the youth group, and I was going to take a few days to visit my number one school choice after making sure I was accepted and had financial aid. I know I don't have the money or the time to visit all three schools. I'm hoping that this school will allow me for now to interview with somebody via the phone, and to let me visit only if I choose their program. That decision appears to be up in the air at the moment though. I know God will provide for me, but I keep trying to decide if it would be more responsible to jeopardize my job by taking even more time off at the very start of it for the sake of my future, or if I should eliminate one of my top schools right away based only on their requirement of a campus visit before acceptance. Where do I take control, and where do I step aside and let God do his thing?
I remember a night in what I’m guessing was the summer of 1994. My best friend Kevin and I, along with a couple of other good friends Keith and Greg, went up to the canyon to drive to the top of Storm Mountain which was a favorite destination of ours. The top of the peak is spectacular during the middle of the nights, as you can see the lights of dozens of towns spread across the Front Range. The crazy part of the evening was racing down the mountain at speeds that I won’t mention for the sake of my mother. We were tearing down the mountain, because Kevin realized he was running very late for his participation in a 24 hour prayer vigil at the church. He made it (we made amazing time) and I drove home having left my car at the church before we left. I never participated in the event, figuring that I could never pray for 30 minutes straight, and within a couple of years the annual prayer vigil just died out.
The event took wings again this year with a March 4th in Prayer theme. I signed up to participate from 2am to 2:30 am praying in the Sanctuary and from 2:30 am to 3:00 am as a prayer walker who roamed the church praying at different locations in the church for the programs and the people who call that space home. This was one of the most amazing experiences. Imagine yourself during the middle of the night, sitting in a comfortable chair in the middle of your place of worship. The space is lit by a small lamp and a couple of candles. A light shines on the cross at the front of the room. It was amazing to be alone with God in a place normally filled when I am present. To be able to thank him for all he has done in my life, and in the life of the church in such an intimate place. I anticipated being moved by this experience when I signed up. The shock for me was the experience I had going from room to room at 2:30 in the morning praying at each stop. At each room, memories came flooding back to me of experiences I’ve had in each location. How these experiences have helped to shape my faith and beliefs. I stopped at the room I helped lead VBS games in when I was first forced to come to the church in junior-high. The choir room where I participated in a band ensemble, youth and bell choirs growing up. I got to pray in the fellowship hall, where we both worship in a contemporary style on Sunday morning and then play games in Sunday night. I remember when this space was a parking lot. The most powerful room though was the youth room (the Mountain). I sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the door with my forehead and hands resting on the door. I remembered growing up in my younger years in that space. I remembered helping out with the program in my college days, and reflected on my current stint helping with the youth. I prayed for the difficult issues that many of our teens face every day, and that I may be a positive influence on their lives. It may sound dumb, but by the time I finished there, I was a little teary eyed.
12 years ago, I thought that 30 minutes of prayer was insanely long and unobtainable for me. Friday night/Saturday morning, an hour came and went in the blink of an eye. I like to think of myself as being the same person that I have always been, but at times like this, the growth Christ has placed in my faith is obvious. I would recommend this experience to anyone.
I have a job! Thursday I interviewed with the Fort Collins Coloradoan newspaper, and just had a great time in the interview. I should mention that this was a complete 180 from the first interview I had there. About four hours after this I was offered a job there. I thought about if overnight but told them I would accept Friday morning. I was offered another job Friday as well, and it was a difficult choice choosing between the two.
Anyways tonight I celebrated a bit, and went bowling with some friends. I always have a good time going out with friends, they really do make life that much more fun.
I may be falling into a pattern here. It's about midnight; I have a glass of wine and Dido playing on itunes. Altogether, if it is actually a pattern, I'm not going to complain about even though I'm not somebody who enjoys routine.
It's looking like it may be the start of a promising week for me. I got two phone calls within about five minutes this morning. One was asking me to come in for a second job interview; the other was a request, following up on an interview, to fill out an official application so they can run a background check on me. It will be good to find another job. I find that laziness breeds laziness, and I have had little to do but be lazy lately. The first bible study for the singles ministry is Wednesday. I'm going to have lunch with some friends at my old company tomorrow, so I can buy some curriculum while I'm there. It should be a good afternoon. I also have an interview with the admissions director at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary on Wednesday morning. I had originally put them third on my list, but the more I work with the admissions office there, the quicker they move up it. Thursday is my second interview for one of the jobs, and it promises to be a l0ng one. They told me to expect to be there about two hours to do some role playing. Friday night/Saturday morning I get to participate in a 24 hour prayer vigil at our church. I signed up to pray at the church from 2 to 3 am. I love this event our church does. It's a chain of prayer stretching 24 hours with somebody constantly praying in the sanctuary. There are also prayers being offered around the church for the people and programs of the church, and some security type volunteer positions as well.
I know my mom and grandma read this blog so......sex sex sex sex sex.
Ok, I had to throw in a little shock factor just for fun. On a more serious note though, this does seem to indirectly be the topic of the month for me. We are talking about sexual purity with both youth groups this month, and I find that the curriculum has been good for me, in that it has challenged a little bit of what I have always believed regarding what is and isn't appropriate in a dating relationship. It's also brought up some great debate with friends regarding whether teaching abstinence is effective and useful, not only in schools, but church as well. A great friend of mine has been trying to push the point that abstinence education is a waste of money. He points to stats that say people are going to have sex anyways, and that education on things such as contraception is much more useful. I will consent to the point that it's good for youth to understand the choices regarding contraception out there, but I think that the birth control camp misses the biggest point in the sex ed war. More people have been hurt deeper from the emotional ramifications of a sexual relationship then all the STD, pregnancy stories put together. There is not an emotional condom and many young people (and older for that matter) don't understand the emotions behind physical intimacy. One of two things can happen to people when they endure emotional scars from premature sexual relationships. One, they can carry these scars into all their future relationships causing difficult expectations and baggage to emerge. These are not insurmountable obstacles to a relationship, but the can cause hardship. The second action people can use in these intimate relationships is making sex into simply a physical action and nothing more. People strip away the emotional side of intimacy altogether. Sex is one of the greatest gifts God has given us, and by taking the emotion out of sex we rob ourselves of the ability to share true intimacy with our partner when the time is right (marriage if you must ask). It seems to me in the end, sex education focused on contraception and birth control do teach about the physical sides of sex, but abstinence speaks about the physical, emotional, and spiritual sides. Which seems more effective to you?
"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot. Wouldn't you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see; our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name."
I have always loved the theme song to Cheers. I even had to download it from Itunes tonight. It's so true that everybody is looking for acceptance out there, and sometimes it can be difficult to find. I have a bar that is my Cheers here in town called Remo's. It's not that everybody knows my name when I walk it, but it's a place that some of the staff know me, and always drop by and say hello. It became that way after one of the most magical nights of my life. I was out at the bar with my friends Angie and Becca one night, and we struck up a conversation with a girl, while sitting out on the patio. It was a beautiful summer night in Colorado, and they stars were out in force. It was warm enough that I was in short sleeves and warm at midnight. It turned out the girl we were talking to that night worked there and was off the clock. By the end of the night, the bar was closed, but we were still sitting out on the patio with about 6 members of the staff and the owner. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. One week later to the day, my friend Becca passed away from an aneurism at her home. I think she was 26. I am so thankful to this day that I had that last night with her, and that the last time I saw her was a time of great fun and enjoyment.
The girl we met at the bar that night is now my favorite waitress there. To tell you the truth, she is not a great waitress, but she always drops by to say hi whether she is waiting on us or not. If you watch her, she knows almost everybody who comes in the door of Remo's, and is great at making everybody feel welcome there. Many of the people that do come there really do know everybody's name. I love the people watching there, and trying to figure out everybody's story. It's a great tribute to the human race, whether Christian or not, to see how everybody there always seems to be one big family. I'm not blind, and I know there have to be troubles from time to time, but overall, it's a great place to be.
It's scary, but the church as a whole can learn a lot from Remo's. Read the lyrics to the song again, and ask yourself, "Is this the church I want to attend?" I know it's where I want to go. Time and time again I have seen people driven from the church because of misunderstandings, and people not being sympathetic. We all have troubles at times, and when we point blame, instead of lending a sympathetic ear we cause pain. I look at the people who come into the bar, and while I'll bet most don't attend a service on Sunday, they give each other a hug and a smile. They listen to each other's problems. They empathize with each other, and most of all they care. What a great model for a church. Hmmmmm.
Ok, side note tonight. My mom called me last night and left a message. My great grandmother died Tuesday night. I feel like a bit of a schmuck because my first reaction to the message was "you mean she was still alive?" I read the obituary today, and was even more shocked to hear that my name was listed under the survived by section. In my defense, she was the step mother to my grandpa who passed away my seventh grade year. I really never did know her that well, as my grandpa wasn't especially close to her; that's not to say they didn't get along though. I feel bad not even knowing that she was alive at the moment, but I do think I will go to her memorial service Monday.
One of the reasons I like blogs is the form of people watching it offers. I love to go read my friends blogs, but then read their friends blogs as well. Its fun to see what is going on in the life of other people connected with my friends even though I don't know them. I was off doing this the other day, when I was inspired to copy somebody's page. As such you will notice a new section to my sidebar marked "Prayer Requests". Some of the requests will be for me, but many will be prayers for other people in my life that need prayer. I'm not somebody who will throw information about another person on the web freely though, so many of these prayers will probably be rather vague, but still worthy of your time I hope.
It has been a bit of a frustrating day today. I called 2 of the seminaries I have applied to, and both said they did not receive all of the information mailed to them. They were both missing some reference letters I know were sent, as well as transcripts that I had my schools mail out. I've always been very laid back, but I've found that sometimes I may be a little too trusting, and I forget to follow up in a timely manner. Oh well, every day is a new lesson, and now I know I need to jump on this. On a more positive note, I had a job interview yesterday that I'm hoping went well. The job would be in Boulder with a company that is only about a year old, but I think I may enjoy it. I'll try and keep you all posted as to what happens.
I just have one question, whose idea was it to put Sunday morning and church service immediately following Saturday night, and fun time. One of these days I may make it to church with more then 5 hours of sleep, but I'm not sure when that will be. I did have a good time last night though. How I had a good time I don't know. All the trash talking I did before hand with my poker buddies blew up in my face as I was the first person to go out. It probably was a bad idea to go all in, when the person across the table exclaimed just a moment before that she should have bought a lottery ticket that night because she would have won.
After poker I was giving a friend of mine a ride back to her car, but we got into a discussion about our faith as she is trying to come to grips with hers. That of course turned into a trip to IHOP, as they are conveniently open most hours of the day. We talked and had a great conversation till about two in the morning. I've actually had a rash of conversations along those lines this week, as someone came to me asking why I've decided to go into ministry because they are having similar thoughts, and somebody else asking for advice on how to handle a problem they are having at the church. It means a lot to me that people trust me enough to talk openly to me, and share pieces of their lives with me. It gives me confidence in my direction, and truly makes me happy.
I also had a comment made about me this week that I'm taking as a compliment. It was remarked that I'm a fascinating study in opposites. I'm one of the most laid back, take life as it comes to me, very content people they know, yet they also see me sometimes as very driven toward what I want to accomplish. I'm also the goofiest person they know in the world at one moment, and at the next one of the most serious. I like the fact that I can have a great time and not worry about life, while still recognizing my goals and reaching for them.
Ok, so let me set the scene. I'm wearing my best suit; the coat and all (I may add it's my only suit at the moment but I digress). I'm driving a nice Suburban with 4 good looking women in the back, telling me to take them all out to dinner. I told them that I was living every man's dream at that moment. We go get coffee, wine, dessert and then.......
I drop them off at one of their homes to have a great meal with their husbands, complete with the wine and dessert we purchased during the evening. My friend Steve called me last night (I mentioned this call in my last post) and asked me if I would chauffeur the ladies on a scavenger hunt for the items they would need for the date as kind of a late Valentines Day event for the girls. I drove them around tonight with all the money provided by the guys. The hitch for the ladies was they had to sing for a video camera I had their favorite love songs at each stop to get the money. It was a fun evening, and I only ran one stoplight with the girls in the car. Ok so maybe I'll never get a career in driving, but that's a different topic.
I guess my date for the evening was later when I went over to Tom's house and watched a movie with him and Bookie before playing Ice Hockey on the Playstation. Now it's a glass of wine and some Sarah McLachlan to wind down before going to bed.
Tomorrow (ok now it's tonight) is my poker night in Wellington, and I've been talking trash all week. It seems that everybody will be gunning for me this week. I love motivating my competition.
So, I've been running around with my digital camera in my car over the last few days. I've decided that a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'm branching out with my blog.
It snowed last night; the first real good snow of the year. I actually got up and shoveled mine and my neighbors walk this morning. I now know that I am really out of shape when my muscles were burning during the chore. It was fun though. I wanted to make a snowman in the front yard, but the snow wasn't wet enough to make it easy, and I had some other things to do.
This is one of my favorite drives in the world. It's the road that eventually will lead you into Rocky Mountain National Park. I love the narrows, the section you’re looking at. The road twists up the mountain with the walls of the Big Thompson rising straight up on either side of you. I have driven this canyon hundreds of times, and it never gets old. There are so many great sights and landmarks between Loveland and Estes Park, the town at the entrance to RMNP. I have always thought that it would be fun to create a photo journal of all these great places and tell the story of each business, historical landmark, and great view that you see as you make your way up the mountain.
I had an interesting phone call today, which could translate into an even more interesting day tomorrow. Because I don't know who reads this for sure, and I don't want to ruin any potential surprises for anybody, I'll let you know if anything happens later.....
I don't understand morning people. Due to my dog wanting out of the house and not coming back in, and the massive amount of wind that is rattling the windows of my house, I have decided to try this morning thing out. I have so many things that I have been wanting to say for the past few days, and as I sit here downing my morning Diet Coke (yes I'm drinking straight from the 2 liter bottle), I have no clue how to put those thoughts into words. How do people get up each morning and function? It's one of the mysteries of the universe. I've been thinking a lot of my home in Colorado the last few weeks. I've been coming to realize that I probably won't live here in a year, and that I may not be able to call Colorado home for the remainder of my life. That's not to say that I won't always consider this place home no matter where I go.
On the wall of the youth room at my church (we call the room "The Mountain") is a passage from The Chronicles of Narnia, The Silver Chair.
"Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart and pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters."
When I have a lot on my mind, and I feel stressed, my escape for as long as I could drive has been to hop into my car and drive up into the Rocky Mountains. They have been a refuge where I can do my best thinking and praying. Being high on a mountain makes me feel closer to God, and always been a place to put things into perspective. As I started to question what God wanted me to do in life; it was long drives through RMNP that helped me to clarify my desire to attend seminary. With all the meetings, deadlines, jobs, bills, phone calls, responsibilities, media, and just general distractions of life it is difficult for me to find that quiet time alone with God. I rush from place to place, and that’s when the doubts, fear, and worries about my path in life set in sometimes. "Am I good enough, smart enough, or dedicated enough to make it through seminary?" "Can I really make a difference in people's lives, or is this all just a pipe dream?" Then I hop in my car and take a drive, and my fear vanishes, my doubts subside, and my questions turn into answers. God tells me to remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters.
Jesus didn't spend his ministry in his hometown, and I'm certain that I won't either. I question what I will do to replace the importance that the mountains, "my mountains", play in my life. I know God has a plan for me, but it is difficult sometimes to just follow his lead. One thing I do know no matter where my travels take me. Colorado will always be home.
Ok so just a side note; I had four people show up at my singles meeting yesterday evening. We have set up a regular time to meet, and I'm excited about where we may be able to go with this. More to follow I'm sure.
A lot of people think I'm a little messed up in the head. They wonder how a seemingly normal person would love to spend a weekend hanging out with a whole crowd of Jr. High kids, yet is scared stiff when it comes to dealing with children. Tonight the youth group did a service by babysitting the kids of the church while the parents had a night off. I've helped with these projects before, and every time, I’m reminded that I'm just not cut out for working with kids. At 6'3" and 210 pounds you would think that a preschooler wouldn't be a problem, but they intimidate me. I don't know how to understand what they are saying half the time, and don't know how to deal with them when they cry. What do you do for a little girl who cries’s and wants her daddy? I can control a room of Middle school kids no problem, when it comes to the crying preschooler, I give her to the Jr. High girl and let her work her magic.
Thank you everybody who has been praying for me, I think my job interview went well the other day. Now we cross our fingers that I get called back. Monday is my singles group, and all I can do now is show up prepared and hope that others show up as well. I've made my pitch and left some messages with some people, so we will see what happens. God normally finds a way for things to work out, so I'm putting my trust there.
So how does one describe their feeling about prayer in a daily blog section? I really think I'm biting off more then I can chew, but prayer has been on my mind a lot lately. I really believe in the incredible power of prayer, but it took me a long time. I used to be like so many people who only prayed when they needed something badly. You know the prayer, "Please God, I'll just die if I don't get a new car, or if I don't pass this test I didn't study for." I used to cringe at the thought of praying out loud in front of other people. At the time I thought "Why should I pray, it's not like any of my prayers are answered." I didn't get the new car until much later, and I almost never passed those tests that I didn't prepare for. It took me a while to realize that God answered those prayers, he just said No!
I'm still not the prayer warrior I sometimes think I should be, but I do try and take some time every day to talk to God. My private place to talk to God; in the car with the radio running and in the shower (I'm sure most of you didn't want to hear that.) I love that I can talk to God in my own language, and in my own way. I still forget that sometimes when praying out loud in a group. I forget the meaning of prayer, and try to be as elegant and thoughtful as other people I know. I think everybody has had that moment, when the prayer comes out somewhat like Ben Stiller's prayer in Meet the Parents. I strive to do better though, and my consolation is that while my words aren't always representative of my thoughts, God knows what I'm thinking and feeling as well.
So why am I talking about prayer today? Over the past month I have seen a lot of friends, and even more importantly friends of friends who have needed a great deal of prayer. I'm not able to list names or problems here, but I've been praying hard for these people, and I would love for everybody who reads this post to just say a quick prayer for the people whom God has placed in my life, and their friends and family. Call it my Pass it Forward prayer chain today.
So what's new in my life? I did appear before the congregation at my church Sunday and announced the planning meeting for my singles group next Monday. Now we will see if anybody will show up. I set up a new retirement account for me yesterday, and have rolled over some investments I had from previous jobs into it. Only another 35 years and then I can use it! I am finally set up for unemployment after only two months of not working; now I only have to wait another five weeks or so to get my first check. The big news of the day though is that I have a job interview on Thursday at 10:00. If you pray anything for me, that's where to direct that prayer.
Well, if at first you don't succeed, give up and go see a doctor. I finally decided last night that enough was enough as I continued to hack up a lung at 3:00 am, so I gave in and scheduled a doctor’s appointment today. The good news is I'm healthy except for the bug that is going around. The better news, he wrote me a prescription for cough syrup with codeine. I may actually sleep well tonight.
Well my meeting with the Presbytery was today, and other then the fact that I think I was way overdressed, everything went very well. I'm now officially enrolled with the Presbytery as an inquirer. They really only had a few questions for me that were easy enough to answer, and we were done pretty quickly. My visions of the Alito hearings were pretty far off, unless you were looking at the republican response to him.
Ok, so one of the hot topics this week has been the outrage in the Middle East over the comics depicting Mohammed that were printed in papers in Denmark and France. I have seen a couple of the comics (thank you Google), and I'll agree that they were probably done in poor taste. I would be upset over that kind of depiction of Christ. What I find most interesting though is how this event illustrates how little the western and Middle Eastern cultures understand each other. The protests across the Islamic world seem to be aimed at the governments of Europe, instead of at the individual newspapers. One of the foundations of western culture is the freedom from government journalists are given. I highly doubt that the French or Danish government even knew that these images were going to press, or that they had any legal right to stop them. Protesting the governments is not going to do any good.
I also have to point out that in many of the protests, the point of the comics are being made. The image most commonly referenced in the media is a comic depicting Mohammed wearing a lit bomb as a turban. With demonstrators yelling "Death to Denmark and Death to France" in the streets, they are not helping their cause. I'm not arguing their right to demonstrate, we Christians do that often as well. In the media also right now is Christian outrage over NBC announcing that Britney Spears is going to do a cameo on Will and Grace as a Christian television personality with a cooking show called "Cruci-fixins". What you don't see are Christians calling for the death of NBC producers, but don't tell Pat Robertson you never know what he may do next.
Ok, so it's another 2 a.m. and I'm not sleeping blog. I should have taken the Nyquil.
In the movie Love Actually, it ends with many different shots of people meeting loved ones at Heathrow Airport. I don't know if it was staged or not, but I love those scenes. Basically it comes down to my love of people watching. I think people are fascinating, and basically very beautiful. There are many great locations to people watch, but I think my favorite is church. Ok, so maybe it's bad that I like to observe what other people are doing when I'm suppose to be putting my attention on the Lord. In my defense though, I still say people are beautiful, and it's very spiritually uplifting and healing for me to watch the Holy Spirit move in others. I went to a service tonight at the Vineyard Church in Fort Collins before going to the Spiritual Warfare class my friend Les teaches. I don't know a lot about the Vineyard Church, but I do know they put a lot of emphasis on music. This church has a very contemporary style of music and is very popular with the college and young adult crowd. This is the reason that I first took notice of one gentleman there tonight. I was singing with my eyes closed to a song I really like at the beginning of the service when something brushed past my foot. I opened my eyes and saw that it was the walker of an old man that had entered my space. You could tell he needed the walker to get around, but he proceeded forward to about the third row and found a chair. He started to take of his jacket and was having a difficult time of it, when a young girl a few chairs down from him came over and helped him out of his coat. She was probably college age, about 19 or 20 I'm guessing, and she held the coat up for him as he tried to extract his arms. She helped him down and made sure he was comfortable. Later in the service they invited the congregation to the front for communion. I noticed the same girl go up and grab communion for 2. She took a piece of bread, and a cup back for the elderly gentleman. Now maybe she knew the gentleman, but it appeared to me, that she was meeting him for the first time. I would like to think that in the same position I would have done the same thing, but I know better. It's not that I would feel constrained to do such a thing; I just don't think I would have thought of it. Watching her serve this older gentleman made me feel warm inside. That is why people are beautiful, and why I love to people watch. I have many more observations that I could share tonight, but I feel sleep coming. Maybe I'll share more later.
I love my digital camera, but I'm beginning to think it may not be a good thing for me. I love this picture I took coming home from work yesterday. I shouldn't mention that I took it through the passenger window of my car (you can see how dirty the window is) while driving down the highway at 55 mph.
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