Stormtroopers in high heels.

One of the things I think I will miss the most when I move will be my Tuesday nights. I have a great group of four friends who I have been close with since the summer following my high school graduation. We all knew each other during high school, but the bond between us was cemented by who knows what that summer. During the early years of our friendship we saw each other nearly everyday. The five of us have seen other friends come and go from the group over the years, and have formed great friendships outside of the group as well, but the original quintet has always remained very close. We all have different jobs now, some are married with kids, and one now lives a good hour’s drive away. The four of us still in town along with one's wife and little guy have a standing appointment each Tuesday night though at a local coffee shop. We realize that we are getting older and have more responsibilities and less time to devote to just goofing off with the friends, but we wanted to make sure we still made time for each other. It's great to be able to just sit around, talk about what is going on in our lives, in the world, in sports, in general. We laugh a lot and pick on each other ruthlessly. The girls who work at the shop know us by name and join in from time to time. It's a Cheer's like atmosphere except it's a coffee shop, not a bar. Today was great fun. I had not done a Mad Libs in years and years, but some books were brought tonight. We just went around the circle giving out nouns, verbs, adjectives, colors, numbers and the like all night. We included the barista's, other customers coming into the store, and my mother in Arizona over the telephone when she unwittingly called during a game. I think the image I will keep with me from tonight is the picture in my mind of Stormtroopers in high heels. Gotta love them Mad Libs.

Sassy

It's been a bit of a depressing day today. Reality set in that I'm going to have to give my dog Sassy away next week. I know that I can’t keep her once I become homeless at the end of the month, nor when I move to Iowa in August. I also realize that I am probably not the greatest dog owner at the moment anyway due to a single lifestyle that keeps me away from home most of the day. In a time of my life though, when I most needed a friend most and was separated by 1300 miles from those I was closest to, Sassy was there for me. She was the one that would crawl up into bed with me, and give me kisses in the face to say "I love you". I know that she is going to a better home, but I'm going to miss her more then words can express.
I also found out today that I will not be able to preach during worship service before I move away. I spoke with the pastor of the church today to try and find a time it would work, but there were only two Sundays available. One of them I will be gone with the youth mission trip and the second week falls after I leave for seminary. I really thought about delaying my departure and preaching that week, but that would only give me three days to drive from Colorado to Iowa, and move into my new place before school starts. I would rather have some more time to get situated and find a job before I have to hit the books.
I do know what I wanted to speak about. I wanted to thank Mountain View for everything they have done to help raise and support me during my life. When kids are baptized at the church, the pastor asks a set of questions not only to those being baptized (or their parents), but also to the congregation. In a nutshell the congregation is asked if they will help support and provide for the Christian nurture of the child. While I wasn’t technically baptized at Mountain View, the church fulfilled the promises they make to others with me as well. I wanted to remind the congregation that we as a church are called the body of Christ, with each person fulfilling a need based on our abilities. Without the teachers of my VBS and Sunday School classes when I was young; without the leaders and volunteers of my youth groups; without the people giving donations, organizing events, sending kids to youth group, and just plain greeting me in the halls making me feel welcome, I would not be who am I today getting ready to help fulfill my part in his body by becoming a pastor. I wanted to give everybody encouragement to keep what they are doing in the church. I wanted to remind everybody of the importance of continued involvement in the church. The darkest time of my life is was I was separated from a church “body”. I was lucky and had my Sassy to help me out. My generation has seen a large number of people decide that their faith does not need to include belonging to a church. I wanted to ask though, what happens to a strong part of the body (a strong faith) when separated from the rest of the body. Christ is present in his church and in Mountain View and I thank him and the members of that congregation for helping to make me who I am today.

Busy week for me and the church

It's amazing how quickly a schedule can be filled up when you’re not paying a lot of attention. I helped a friend install his new garage door opener Monday and Today (after realizing that we didn't have everything we needed 2 hours in on Monday). Next week I have free tickets to the Greeley Stampede Rodeo, and my Mom comes into town for the weekend. I get to do a video shoot with a friend to help with a church program he is starting on Saturday the first and on the 3rd some friends and I are celebrating my seminary acceptance with a trip to Dave and Busters. From July 7th to the 17th I will be on a mission trip to Port Arthur, Texas with the senior high youth program for hurricane relief. It should be a great experience. Attending a lobster bake on the 21st and a party on the 29th caps off the month nicely for me. August should be pretty busy too, with me moving to Iowa (yes I know it stands for idiots out wandering around, but my favorite shirt does explain that not all who wander are lost) around the 24th of the month.

I am a little frustrated with the blog right now as it is not letting me upload photos, but hopefully we will get that fixed soon, but for now, text is cool. Part of me is toying with the idea of moving this to a different site down the road that will give me some more creative control, but for now, I'm still happy.

Well, it's been quite a week for the Presbyterian Church (USA), the denomination I belong to for the most part love. Everybody knew going in that it would be a very pivotal year for the church, and regardless of the outcome of General Assembly there would be some hurt feeling in the church. While the GA started out well with the announcement of the largest award ever given to the church, the news today that the donor may be in dire straights financially fits well into the soap opera that is GA. Up to now I applaud most of the decisions the commissioners have made, but there are some moves I question. I'm not going to get into any debates today about my personal views on all the issues, but I look forward to seeing how everything plays out. I ran into a joke online today that I think sometimes fits this denomination. I changed it around a bit to fit, but I think (and worry) that sometimes it may represent the church too well.

The pastor of a Presbyterian church decided that God was calling the church to a new vision of what path it was to take, so at the next session meeting he presented the new vision with as much energy, conviction and passion as he could muster. When he had finished and sat down, the clerk called for a vote. All 12 session members voted against the new vision, with absolutely nobody voting for it. "Well, it looks like you will have to think again," said the clerk of the session. "Would you like to close the meeting in prayer?” So the pastor stood up, raised his hands to heaven, and prayed, "LORD, will you not show these people that this is not MY vision but it is YOUR vision!" At that moment, the clouds darkened, thunder crashed, and a streak of lightning burst through the window and struck in two the table at which they were sitting, throwing the pastor and all the session members to the ground. After a moment's silence, as they all got up and dusted themselves off, the clerk spoke again. “Well, that's twelve votes to one then."

My extended family

I'm finding myself in a bit of a contemplative mood tonight which may make this entry a good or bad thing. I do appreciate having this medium to help process my thoughts tonight but I sometimes wonder if in the morning I'll look at this and think "what was I thinking?" Contemplative probably tends to be my keyword for slight feelings of depression which I know everybody must feel at certain times and with me typically will last an evening and be gone with the morning.I have realized over the past few weeks how much of a family I have developed here in Loveland. I don't have any real family left here in town save for my stepsister, but my extended family consisting of friends from school, work and church seems to be bigger then ever. I laugh because it's not unusual for me to go somewhere with one group of friends and run into another group while we are out. I like that I can go to the grocery store or the bank and run into people I know and can chat with.Today was a fun day; I stopped by KFC for lunch today not sure if a friend from high school I used to work with was working. She was and happened to be going on break just as I got there. She sat down with me as I had my lunch and we chatted for about 15 minutes. I promised that I would help her husband, another good friend of mine, install a garage door opener at their house. Not thirty seconds after she had to go back to work a couple friends of mine from church walked into the restaurant to have lunch. They sat down with me and we had a great time for the remainder of my lunch. (They also reminded me I was getting older as one was a jr. high school youth leader when I was that age, and the other was the father of two of our current high school youth members, but that is a different story.) After work today I met two very good friends of mine from Group Publishing for a couple of drinks at a local bar. Again as I sat there with them, the advertising director from the paper I currently work at walked in with his family for dinner. I have always said that I will judge the success of my life by the people whose lives I can touch while I walk this planet. I'm not somebody who cares a great deal for material wealth or status (that's not to say I don't appreciate some comforts though), but it is encouraging to realize that I know so many people, and I can count most of them friends. I took this photo last summer at a baseball game with some of the best friends I have ever had. We were celebrating the fact that one of my friends had recently graduated law school and we wanted to show him a good time. We sat in the cheapest seats in the stadium, but had a blast. These are the memories that I know I will carry with me through this life, and that's what makes me a little sad tonight. I look forward to moving to Iowa with an excitement I have not felt in a long time. I know it is what I'm being called to do, and I look forward greatly to the new experiences. I am burned out with a lot of my life here in Colorado and ready for new challenges. I do feel a twinge of pain though whenever I realize that I do this leaving a lot of people I care about deeply behind. It’s tough telling the members of the youth group that I won't be able to hang out with them at overnighters in the fall or realizing that on Monday night next year I won't be able to watch the games with my friends each week. I know that for many of these people it will never be a permanent goodbye, but I also realize for many it will be. I value my friendships deeply, and while I know I will make many more friends throughout my life, and leave many more as well, it never makes goodbye easy. I guess what I want to say tonight to everybody who reads this little piece of my life is Thank You. Thank you for being a part of my life and letting me be a piece of yours. I love you all.

My Mantra.

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

-Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

This seems to be my mantra over the past week. It seems to fit all of the situations that I find myself struggling with. The verse came to mind as I was sitting having dinner with my step dad the other day when he said something to the effect that even when we put ourselves in situations that we may not feel prepared for, we often surprise ourselves with what we can accomplish.

I think doubt is a natural thing to experience when you have decided to make major changes in your life. Growth isn't possible without leaving a comfort zone, and when we are not in that zone we creep into doubt. I received a letter today from UDTS with some paperwork for next year, but one of the first paragraphs confirms this to an even greater degree. "Perhaps you need to be reminded that you've made the right decision; perhaps you need to be reminded that God is leading you on this journey. If there are any doubts rumbling around in your mind, take a deep breath and follow God's lead!" I have never questioned that I am doing the right thing, but I think my doubt comes into play when I wonder how successful I will be in school. I have always considered myself to be smart, but I seem to always be surrounded by people who I consider to be bright, intelligent and articulate. I shouldn't let it, but my competitive nature seems to come out of me at these points. I try and measure myself up to these people and in my mind, and I don't always measure up. I wonder if I will be able to handle the pressures of having somebody come to me with life and death issues, and if I can be accountable to give them good solid biblical advice someday. I read the blog of somebody just starting as an intern chaplain at a hospital this week. Sometimes you see the confidence on the outside of somebody and think "Man they never have doubts," but he shared a prayer on the page asking for God's help in leading him, and erasing his doubts. In the end I don't think that I will be the top student in my class, but I do know that I can do anything with Christ on my side.

Work is getting progressively harder for me every week as well. I enjoy my job to an extent, but knowing that I will be leaving in a few short weeks leaves me little motivation to work extra hard. I also have come to realize over the past few weeks that I have finally burned out completely on sales. Last week we brought in a sales trainer from the corporate office and I heard for the umpteenth time a sales training presentation that preaches how to go work with your customer, determine their needs and then sell them for as much money as possible. I'm not saying that sales is bad, because I don't believe that, but I will say that the most successful sales people do care about money, and I have never been motivated to that end. Again, I do know though that God will give me the strength to make it through these last weeks of this job, and give me the patience as I wait to start my new life.

One month from today I will be in Port Arthur, Texas on a youth mission trip. The topic of our trip this year will focus on the fruit of the spirit. I'm not responsible for the daily lessons of the trip, but I have volunteered to lead a daily life application portion to each lesson, and to lead some small group sessions during our lunches to discuss this life application. I also have asked to oversee and end of the trip affirmation project. All of these are important to me, and I know I will do a good job, but again it goes back to my mantra this week. I will do well, because I know God is with me and will help me.

It should be a fun week.

Self Portrait

A few years back I started to take a photography class at a local community college (I say started because I never finished). The first assignment given us was to go out and take a self portrait of ourselves. We could do it any way we wanted; as long as the subject was us, and we were also the one's taking the photo. I remember having a lot of fun with that assignment as I went from just holding the camera up to a mirror, to more creative ways to photograph myself. I took photos of my shadow on a sunny day. I took photo's of photos (didn't turn out so well). In the end I had fun with the timer on my camera and submitted photos taken from the hood of my car with me behind the steering wheel, and of me outside behind a decorative window. Looking back the point of the assignment was to teach us how to be creative as we view the world through the window of the lens. I enjoyed the lesson also though because it gave me a glimpse as to how others viewed themselves as well. I don't remember all the photos taken, but I remember the feeling of being able to take a look inside the other members of the class as they shared their projects. A few months back I was struggling to decide where I was being called to as far as seminary was concerned. I went for a walk along Lake Loveland in the middle of town, and called my friend Mel in California knowing she would give me some good direction (prayers for her health right now are appreciated). As I was speaking with her and lying among some rocks, I took what may be my favorite self portrait, I've ever taken. Going with my comments that it's a look into how people views themselves; I think this is a great representation of how I view myself, and how I hope I'm remembered by others; Laid back, with feet that walk for the Lord, and an unlimited horizon.

Life without a helmet

Well, I'm back to snapping photos from my car I guess. I took this photo while driving home from work yesterday. Other then showing the great drive I take to work everyday, I had to snap the photo because of the great irony in it. This guy is driving his motorcycle at 60 mph, hair flapping in the breeze, with his helmet stowed securely on the back of his seat. My thoughts at the time were that this guy isn't the brightest person in the world; that was until I looked down. I realized that I was just like the guy in front of me, I have a seat belt in my car, but it was hanging loosely at my left. I don't know why I don't always wear my seatbelt. I have great respect for the fact that seatbelts (and helmets) save many lives every year, but for some reason or another I either get lazy when I get in the car, or I forget.
I think that I often treat God the same way. I know that he protects me and is there to help keep me safe, but I forget about him. Just like wearing my seatbelt, by studying the bible and spending time in prayer I am helping to protect myself if my life ever starts to spin out of control.
Many people survive car accidents even without wearing seatbelts, and I will probably do fine if I hit a crisis in my life regardless of how much I devote myself to Christ. My chances are much better though in either case if I do spend the time to prepare, and why wouldn't I do something that really takes minimal time and energy to do. I forget to fasten my seatbelt and I forget to pray. This guy got lazy and didn't put on his helmet, while I get lazy and don't spend time reading my bible regularly. Sometimes I think I have a long way to go.