"No day but today"

"There's only us, there's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way. No day but today! "

I first saw Rent in Jan of 1999 on stage in Denver. It was the first Broadway style production I had ever seen, and I was pretty much hooked from then on. I love the music from the production very much, but I like many of its messages even more. One of my favorite themes from Rent is living each day to the fullest. Don't regret what you have done in the past, and don't spend all your time planning for the future. Live in the present and enjoy your life. I try to live my life in this manner, and am pretty good at it. Sometimes this is to my benefit, and sometimes not, but for the most part it's how I choose to live my life. I have taken a few online surveys lately to help me determine what spiritual gifts God has given to me in my life. In my seminary applications I said I thought that my biggest gifts were for teaching and encouraging others, and according to the spiritual gift inventories I took, I was right for the most part. There was a gift that was listed number 1 in almost every test that I missed though; the gift of faith. I think it's my faith that has allowed me to live in the present. I know for a fact my faith has allowed me to forgive myself for all that I have done earlier in my life. God forgave me right away, but it took a long time for me to realize this and forgive myself. I now know that I am able to "forget regret". My faith also allows me to not worry so much for the future. I know that God will find a way to make his will happen for me in my life. It seems like no matter what I have done in the past, he has always found a way to put me where he would have me. I think that sometimes I'm accused of not thinking my decisions through, and I know that some people have questioned my recent decisions to go back to school. My struggle today has been where I draw the line between having faith that Christ will make things work for me in life, and making responsible decisions that may not be directly leading me down the path I feel called to. One of my seminaries called me today, and indicated that I may not be able to be accepted with out a campus visit. I was planning on visiting a campus before I enrolled in a program, but with me starting a new job vacation time is scarce. I already will be taking 10 days off in July to travel on a mission trip with the youth group, and I was going to take a few days to visit my number one school choice after making sure I was accepted and had financial aid. I know I don't have the money or the time to visit all three schools. I'm hoping that this school will allow me for now to interview with somebody via the phone, and to let me visit only if I choose their program. That decision appears to be up in the air at the moment though. I know God will provide for me, but I keep trying to decide if it would be more responsible to jeopardize my job by taking even more time off at the very start of it for the sake of my future, or if I should eliminate one of my top schools right away based only on their requirement of a campus visit before acceptance. Where do I take control, and where do I step aside and let God do his thing?